Selling Reality

A few weeks ago I was outside of my friend’s house waiting in my car.  I got out of the car to get something out of the trunk and another car stopped in the middle of the street, the window rolled down and a man leaned out of the window. He said “Excuse me but, you are so fine.”  I smiled and said “thank you”. And he asked me for my number. I said, “I am sorry, I have a boyfriend.”  He said, “that is fine, we can just f$#k”.  Insert *blank stare*. I turned down his gracious offer and got back into my car - quickly.

But this indecent proposal got me thinking – why can’t everyone be so forward with what they expect in their relationships? You may think that this is a stretch from that short conversation, but let’s be for real for a second here.  The gentleman stated his purpose and his goal, there was no confusion about what his intent was and when he found out that it was not going to be met we both moved on.  Wouldn’t it be fabulous if all adult relationships ran in the same vein?   

Think about it, if two adults who meet and are considering some type of relationship interaction were truly honest about what was happening there would be less hurt feelings and baggage out there.   When we meet someone there is this urge to sell a dream to the other person.  “Look at me, I am available and friendly and nice and we could have a great future together.”  But what is it that we really want? If your goal is to pick up a steady mate or even get married, fine. But what if it isn’t? Do you sell a dream that eventually turns in to a nightmare because the other person thought what you sold would be the reality? 

I think that in this new dating year we should stop selling the dream and work on reality. I am not telling you to stop every cute person you see and proposition them – that’s just creepy. (Even though I am sure that it works sometimes for the gentleman that stopped me, but that just proves my point.)  I am saying be real in your intentions when you are dealing with someone. In the long run, you will be happier for it. Who’s with me?